Long distance relationships, like invisible silence coating the misty sunrise during a winter morning, are ephemeral. With the amount of love, trust and hope endowed in making it work, creates its own colours and metaphors, endlessly awaiting each other’s touch, presence and space. Relationships that actually start in the long-distance phase, are quite perplexed, filled with anxiety and palpable distraction.
At the end of the day, you want your partner, softly caressed in your arms, away from the hue-cry of the world, nestling in your own special space. But, alas, long-distance paints it with grim colours, with only the future to decide what it beholds. The need of being with each other, crossing each other’s mind, being together, all goes for a toss. Every day turns out to be different, and quite difficult because you are not satiated, you are not at peace. Your mind and heart don’t converge at any equilibrium. And it gets agitating. But during this testing time, one should not lose hope.
Here are few ways through which you can keep the spirit alive and remain in each other’s conscious.
Out of sight is not out of mind
Even if he texts you late, or calls you a little less, it does not mean that he does not care for you. Maybe, that’s how he is naturally with other people also. Yes, you demand a higher priority in his life, but does not he ensures that by revealing you the deepest secrets of his heart, quite confidently and yet softly, to make you realize how much you mean to him. His pauses, speak too. It’s you who should know how to read them, translate them.
During the initial phase, when both of you are fixated with each other, it does not matter. But as time passes by, you both have known each other for a long time and you know and respect each other’s working schedule, it is good to maintain a little distance. Don’t keep dancing over his head. Yes, you read it right. No need to be all over him, constantly asking him to talk or skype with you, when it is not necessary. He should be your need, not your whim.
Don’t vent out your frustration
No matter what the age difference is in between your relationship, there are some women who do take their men for granted. They get frustrated on hollow issues like ‘How could he sleep without talking to me?’, ‘Why did he not immediately reply to my message?’, ‘Why did he disconnect my call’. Yes, these all are because of your own inner insecurities which you are unknowingly blaming your partner for. Don’t do that. When you both have a conversation, say, after a really hectic day, it should be about both of you rather than blame games and mud-slinging because it will just make your relationship weaker. So, stay calm even if he does not revert. He too has a life, you know!
It’s definitely quite difficult to often take a flight and meet each other. Even too much of togetherness can eat up your relationship and take away the magic. So, meet at regular intervals, like once in two months, or go out for trips together to places you have never been. Choose hill-stations like Kerala backwaters to get that romantic fervor, were you both have time, only for each other. As you explore more of each other intimately, you will want every occasion to be special, spectacular. So, plan it accordingly, when both of you are in the best of health and spirits.
Show interest in his life
Yes, you are far away but show interest in how much his routine matters to you and how you respect his passion for work. Keep motivating him and subtly revealing him the charisma of his own soul so that the next day, he works better. You should be his cocoon that exudes warmth and concern, comforting him. Every night as he narrates his day to you, you should be all ears, because you might be the entire world for him and your listening ear matters a lot. Yes, meanwhile, you can also pull each other’s leg, crack jokes, share sarcastic comments and just laugh it over.
Who said that you could not be seductive in a long-distance relationship? You can occasionally talk dirty in a flirtatious way to get into the mood. You need to complement your partner on his manliness, so that he takes pride in it and feels that he makes you feel special. You can have little conversations regarding exploring each other’s body and being intimate so that you both can feel that the distance is lessening. But do not go overboard. Keep it subtle, so that he wants to hear more of it. At times, you can also keep little surprises for him, like, sending gifts then and now, so that your presence can be felt across the distance that separates both of you.
In the end, it is all about you. Many women start changing their priorities and professional goals as they start dating. Their world starts revolving around their man and that’s it. Do not be one of them. Yes, you love him, but you should also love your life, your work too. In case, you don’t do that, in sometime, you will turn into this nagging, needy partner whom he would like to literally run away from. So, save your spark and energy and invest it in something constructive.
In the end, being in a long-distance relationship is just a transitory phase. It will end, sooner or later and you two would be together. But in the meanwhile, you need to give your best shot at saving and enhancing the relationship by not letting it lose its spark. Let him feel wanted and needed, appropriately without changing yourself.
Your opinion matters